To all the husbands out there, I implore you – if you are not comfortable with your marriage now, or if you happen to be recently engaged – take heed.

I talked before about being unequally yoked in marriage – you’re going to need to set some ground rules, and if it be possible, rules according to the Father’s recommendations.

Take a look at some passages here – I recommend you go look these up for yourself to gain the context of each passage:

Jeremiah 31:22 How long wilt thou go about, O thou backsliding daughter? for the LORD hath created a new thing in the earth, A woman shall compass a man.

1Co 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

These aren’t harsh or irrational, though the programming we have received via the education system, religious systems, economic and political systems have told us otherwise.

The fight for women’s rights was certainly justified in it’s time, the Father never intended that only men make decisions, just that the man be the leader in the team, so long as he serves and loves the Father above all else.

It’s quite interesting to see the types of relationships scattered all throughout the scriptures. There is much wisdom to be had therein. For example, Christ mentions this passage from Micah, and husbands – you will be wise to keep this in mind:

Mic 7:5 Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. 6 For the son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother, the daughter in law against her mother in law; a man’s enemies are the men of his own house. 7 Therefore I will look unto the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.

Luke 12:51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: 52 For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. 53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.

Listen to the love there – it’s not your spouse that’s going to save you – they are not your salvation, but rather a help mate and lover. A thing to be cherished and if the man be bold in Christ, let him rise to the occasion and lead his wife by the spirit and grace of God in Christ, and love his wife as Paul taught us to love them (this whole chapter was just too good to leave to your imagination):

Ephesians 5:12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. 13 But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. 14 Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.

15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, 16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. 18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; 19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Wives, my prayer is your husband loves the Father more than you, so that he is pleasing to the Creator of you both and leads you into good pastures.

Husbands, my prayer is that God send encouragement to your soul that you may lead your wife in love and in Christ to the glorifying of the Father through you both.

Thank you for reading, I welcome your comments!

Joshua Jones

When we get married, we’re literally joining up our spiritual energy.  In this process we begin to war even more with the carnal things of this world and specifically our flesh.  This is especially the case when a new couple finds that they are unequally yoked (another subject altogether, reserved for another post).

These flesh desires are the most common reasons for separation and divorce, so they warrant some discussion.  These include, but are certainly not limited to: finances, status, security, possessions, etc.

My wife and I started experiencing this battle about 3 months into our marriage and, thankfully at that time, we were reading the Word together on a regular basis.   As a result, we would remind each other, with particular sayings, to “snap us out” of the flesh and back into our spiritual walk.

I wanted to share a few in hopes that you can open up with your spouse, be certain that your yoke is indeed equal and ensure that things of this world will not tear down that which God has put together in your marriage.

“We are about inwardly things, not outwardly things.”

“Who are you fighting?”

“We are in the world, not of the world.”

“We walk in the spirit.”

“Faith is belief in things unseen, but hoped for.”

“You are my gift from the Father.”

“The beginning of wisdom is to Love God.”

“Acknowledge God and He will direct your paths.”

“Your soul is precious.”

“This flesh is only temporary.”

“We already have the victory in Christ.”

Never forget, it is the things that come out of our mouths that defile us.  So, be sure that you repent to your spouse for the negative words you utter.  Our egos need not participate in this exchange.

One more note about my marriage in particular, that I pass on as a recommendation for newlyweds.  Get on the same page early on in your marriage, even if you have semi-heated discussions about your differences.  Once you are both in agreement that you love God and His Christ more than each other, it will lay a foundation that can always be restored with humility, repentance and the subsequent forgiveness.

I hope this has been a help to you in you marriage.

Joshua Jones

I know, someone is going to say, no way it’s that simple!

Please God, the Father of both your souls, first. He, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, will work out the rest of the major kinks, one way or another.

I bet you thought I was going to talk about sex saving marriage right?  LoL   Sensuality, though, is a part of many failed relationships, so it certainly has something to do with pleasing your spouse.  Let me ask a question…  Do you think any relationship will actually survive, if only carnal needs are being met in that relationship?

By carnal, I mean things of the world: sex, money, status, looks, etc…  the chances are slim, honestly.

You stand a far greater chance of enjoying a long-term, mutually beneficial relationship with someone that you can grow with spiritually, physically and intellectually.  I put emphasis on spirituality, of course.  Love God first, love your spouse second, and treat him or her the way you want to be treated.

I hope this was a help to some.

Joshua A Jones